Serpihan-Serpihan Cinta


Ahad, 9 November 2014

Dear Diary 4- Loving Care

I used to go around with nobody concerns or cares about. It is because my family  divorced when I was in form 1 (high school). At that times, I was a teenager, with no one really cares about me, I was free. I can go anyway I want, I can return home late at nights- people just don't care. I also don't even care.

During those times, I don't understand why most my  friends need to return home before dinner time (8 pm) or why they have to call to their parents when they are away from home. Till now,  I don't even care about this. I don't really see how it must takes place in our life. I feel, it never important. 

So, yesterday, as usual self, I wanted to drop by to my mom's house directly after work. Sometimes, I will sms D'man when I reached home and most of the times, he will call me timely at 7.30 pm ( this is the time I usually reach home) to check me whether i was safely reached home. Yeah, he is sweet & gentleman.....

So before, I went back, I texted  D'man saying that I will return home quite late since I'm going to drop by at my mom's. When I reached there, I forgot my phone in the bag was in silent mode, and I was too occupied to noticed it. I always like this when I with family, it's my bad habit, I just don't' really see why this is annoying and troublesome for other people.

When I returned home, late at night,  there are lots of missed calls from him. Quickly I texted him, and he called me with a mad tension in his voice.

He saying about how he worried sick about me and thought something had happened to me. He supposed to hang out with his friends that night but he canceled it because he was too worry about me. And as my usual irresponsible person, I said I already sms him about me lepaking  at my mom's house , why would he bothered to worry? Why he needs to care? I used to be anywhere without need to inform anybody. I used to take care myself.

My answers hurt him...then he sadly explained..

"Even I did text him, that was before I get out from office. Anything can happened during the journey to my mom's house, and that's what worried him. He just want to make sure I was ok."

He sadly asked...

"Why I can't text/call him once I reached there? . It just take a one-2 secs to at write simple text to him and why I can't even bothered to do that simple thing. To think about him that always thinking about me... "

But before I can answered, he sadly said...

"..... is because...I never think about him when I was by myself."

I silence myself. Yes, I was totally forgot about him... that's true and hurtful. I forgot that now I have someone that love and care about me so much. But my forgetful does not mean he's not important to me. He is important!! It just because I used to be alone, by myself.

It was my fault... but he was the one that asked forgiveness..

" I'm sorry I love you too much and maybe this annoyed you.  Please tell me if my concerns, this cares are wrong.. and I will stop doing this worrying stuff.  Is this wrong?"

No.. your love is never wrong.. It just me who never understand what love is.. so please don't stop loving me..cause I love you so much too..

Now I learn to care this love too..

' " If there's a book you really want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it " ~Toni Morrison'